Athazagoraphobia
by silver-sunn101
Summary: Sequel to Isolophobia. DMHP SLASH! Draco tries to get into the Order. Part 3 of 4 in the 'Phobia' series!


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Athazagoraphobia- fear of forgetting things, or being forgotten  
  
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A/n– This is the sequel to Acrophobia and Isolophobia. It could be read on by itself, but I do recommend you read the others first. This contains SLASH. Yes, that right, guy-on-guy. Don't like it? The back button can help you with that...  
  
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Draco Malfoy had spent his first school-free week in the Order headquarters. Exactly one week today. The day he would have been preparing for his Death Eater orientation. His 18th birthday. Not that anyone besides Severus knew that. Maybe Millicent did... He wasn't sure. He hadn't even told Harry. He didn't want some lame excuse for a birthday party.  
  
He was content to spend his birthday in this dusty library. The window next to him was letting in a hot summer breeze. And he was alone. He had been alone a lot lately. Harry had been called off to meetings almost his every waking moment. He had lessons in things Draco couldn't pronounce the names of.  
  
So, Draco hadn't seen his lovely boyfriend in a while. But during all his alone time, he hadn't really been alone. Ginny had been keeping him company.  
  
Draco had gotten to know the redhead much better. She had really grown up from her younger, shyer self. Ginny was now quite mature. She was the kind of girl who was comfortable with her personality. And her body. She knew she looked good, but ~didn't~ flaunt it. That part confused Draco.  
  
She wore what was comfortable in. Nothing more, nothing less. Ginny was... What was that phrase that Tonks had used? Ah, yes, down to earth. Ginny was a very down to earth sort of girl. Draco supposed he could say the same for Remus. And Hermione, depending on the day.  
  
But Hermione was a different kind of 'down to earth.' Ginny's was sort of an aura that was constantly around her. It drew you to her. Not that Hermione's pushed you away. Nor did it draw people to her. She made learning things interesting. She had this insatiable thirst for trying new things. Learning new things. But she was an observer. An expert on people.  
  
She was the girl at the party who stood casually against the wall and talked to people. The people would come and go, but every time you'd like up she'd still be there. Ginny was the girl who tried to dance with everyone. The shy people against he walls. As a girl who used to be just like them, she had empathy for them. She was the girl who got the person like Hermione to dance.  
  
They complimented each other. They were completely different, but the same person all at once. Draco wondered if he and Harry were like that. Another thing Draco had discovered was that Ginny wasn't afraid to go to great lengths to prove her opinions. He had experienced that first-hand two days ago.  
  
« « « « « « « « « « «Flashback» » » » » » » » » » »  
  
Draco was exploring the new selection of books that he had been given access to. Remus had shown him the library the other day. Draco was overjoyed at the selection he had in front of him. He settled down with a muggle book named "Tom and Huck."  
  
Ginny chose then to come in. She closed the door behind her. Draco didn't look up from the page. She sat down next to him.  
  
"Hi Ginny," Draco still didn't look up.  
  
"Hello Draco,"  
  
Her voice was different. He looked over at her. Her red hair was in a high pony tail. A few strands had fallen loose. She was in the same general outfit she had been running around in all summer; a bikini top, shorts, and flip-flops. She was sitting close to him.  
  
"Can I help you?" Draco's tone was sarcastic. Ginny put her hand on his knee, and slowly moved it up as she spoke.  
  
"I don't know," She said innocently, "~Can~ you help me?"  
  
Her had ghosted her lips over his cheek and was talking with her lips brushing his ear. Her hand was too far up Draco's thigh for his liking. If he wasn't with Harry, he may have gone voer her. She was actually a very pretty young woman. But he loved Harry. He jumped up onto the arm of the couch.  
  
"No," He sounded shaken. Ginny raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"No?"  
  
"No, I don't want that. I love Harry and I'm not willing to risk that with him," She studied him for moment. With a satisfied nod of her head, she stood. She smiled at him.  
  
"I was wrong," Draco furrowed his brow.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"You. Neville and Hermione said that you really care for him. I had my doubts," She shrugged, "I had to see for myself."  
  
Ginny left without another word. Draco stared after her. Were all Gryffindors that bloody confusing?  
  
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Draco didn't think anything was up, until a similar situation with Terry happened. He had yelled at Terry for even thinking that he would betray Harry. He had fled into the library. Which is where he still was.  
  
Draco read for another half hour. About that time, Harry came in a settled himself in Draco's lap. Draco put his book aside and kissed Harry.  
  
"You're not training or anything," Draco smiled as Harry planted soft kisses up his neck and jaw.  
  
"They let me have the afternoon off," He curled up in Draco's arms and sighed contentedly. The weather was sweltering outside, but Draco still didn't mind cuddling with Harry. He buried his nose in the black hair and breathed in the familiar scent that could only be described as Harry.  
  
"Why'd they let you off?" Harry kissed his cheek.  
  
"So that I can spend some time with my boyfriend on his birthday," Harry's green eyes held a mischievous look. He was wearing a lopsided grin.  
  
"How'd you find out?"  
  
"Snape told me... when he informed me that he had talked the others into giving me the afternoon off... I didn't know it was your birthday,"  
  
"I didn't want anyone to fuss over me," Draco mumbled in reply.  
  
"Sometimes you have to let people fuss over you. It shows you how much they care," Draco kissed Harry's funny grin.  
  
"Thank you," Harry laughed lightly.  
  
"Well, you're welcome! But I didn't have any time to get you anything,"  
  
"Spending time with you is enough. I haven't spent time alone with you in ages," Harry smiled at him. They kissed deeper this time. Their tongues battled. Hands roamed. Draco gently pulled away from Harry. He nudges the other boy gently off of his pa. He led Harry out of the library.  
  
"It's too hot in there. Let's go up to my room,"  
  
"Why? So you can heat that room up too?" Terry asked as the passed him on the stairs. Harry laughed. Louder an fuller this time. The sound was music to Draco's ears. If he never heard that sound again he was sure that he'd die.  
  
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They had taken a written test and a physical test. They head medial, magical, and mental exams. Everyone had been interviewed except Draco. They were almost through his already. As least he hoped they were. He had already been standing there at least twice as long as everyone else. Those tests had worn him out. He had been poked in places he didn't know that he had. In his own way, Dumbledore was a very sadistic man.  
  
The Order members had already asked Draco why he had switched sides. Why he was with Harry. How well he thought he would fit in. They had a trivia session. And now they asked what he had to benefit the Order.  
  
"I know how the minds of Death Eaters work–" Kingsley Shacklebolt's deep, booming voice interrupted him.  
  
"We have Snape already,"  
  
"Two minds are better than one," Remus interjected softly. Ever the calm one. Dumbledore motions for Draco to ignore them and continue.  
  
"I know that you already have Severus with you. But I know the minds of Slytherins from my year, and younger ones, better than he does. I want to try and convince them to help us. To help them realize that the lives their parents set up for them aren't the ones they have to follow... I'm persuasive. All they need Is someone to talk to. Someone to follow, to show them that there's a different life."  
  
"And you think you can do this?" McGonagall asked. She was studying him. They all were. Remus' gaze was reassuring. Draco couldn't see Severus' face.  
  
"I do. You don't become a Death Eater until your 18th birthday. It may be too late for Crabbe and Nott, but they're the only ones older than I am. I was supposed to become a Death Eater last week."  
  
"You wouldn't have much time then,"  
  
"Yes, I know," Tonks wrote something down. Kingsley looked at him with his soul-searching eyes. They were different colors, Draco noted. One brown, one hazel.  
  
"One last question, Mr. Malfoy,"  
  
"All right," Draco was happy. He was almost done. He felt as if he had been standing in front of them forever!  
  
"This will help us decide where you values are... Between your love and your work, which is your first priority?"  
  
"If I had to choose between them?" A nod. Draco sighed. What an impossible question!  
  
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Harry sprung up from his seat on the stairs as Draco walked out the door.  
  
"No answer yet," Draco said to his unasked question, "They asked me to wait in the library while they talk," Harry took his hand. "I'll wait with you," Draco simply nodded. His nerves were relaxed after finally finishing the interview, but they were tensed up in anticipation of the answer. It was quite a feeling.  
  
Harry settled his back against the arm of the couch. Draco rested his back against Harry's chest. Harry's hands were tracing patterns on the skin under his shirt. Draco's head was tucked under Harry's chin. His hand rested on Harry's knee.  
  
"How long was I in there?"  
  
"Longer than everyone else," Harry glanced at his watch. "Almost two hours,"  
  
"I wondered why I felt like I was about to fall over..." They sat in silence for a few minutes. Each in their own world. The question he was asked was brought back to Draco's mind, "Hey Harry?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Did they ask you to choose between your love and your work at the end of the interview?"  
  
"Yes, they did... why?" Draco closed his eyes.  
  
"What did you choose?" He felt Harry's warm breath in a sigh on his hair.  
  
"Work," Harry's voice was hesitant. Draco understood.  
  
"I did also," There was the silent agreement. Whatever had to be done to defeat Voldemort would come before their relationship. Draco had expected nothing less from Harry. After all, Voldemort had earned Harry's loathing long before Draco had earned his love.  
  
"Where is everyone else?" Draco asked after a while.  
  
"They're upstairs. They were waiting with me on the stairs, but I told them to go on up,"  
  
"You should go to bed also," Harry made a noise of disagreement.  
  
"Let me wait with you for a while,"  
  
Draco agreed without much of a fight. He didn't have it in him. He was too nervous. So they waited. And waited. And waited some more. Draco had almost fallen asleep at one point. At about midnight he sent Harry to bed with the promise to come up when he got the news.  
  
And Draco waited alone. He laid down at one point. His eyelids drooped. He tried to keep them open. It was no use. He fell asleep.  
  
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Someone was shaking him. He tried to push them away. The shaking continued. The person was saying his name. Someone male...  
  
He was drenched in water. Damn that person was persistent! Draco opened his eyes. He sat up straight when he saw who it was. Severus sat down next to him. He dried Draco off. His face was unreadable. Draco hated that about him. You could never see his emotions.  
  
"The vote to let you in had to be almost unanimous. The margin of error was two votes... We were split 50-50. You didn't get in," Draco spoke with a shaky voice.  
  
"So, so that's it? I have no other chance?"  
  
"No, you do have one more. In two days the Order will meet again and vote again. We were all very tired. Albus told us to think on it in between then and now."  
  
Half the Order didn't want him in. How would he have a better chance in two days? In the back of his mind he registered the library door opening. The door opened the library to the entrance hall. The Order members were waiting for their turn to leave. The couldn't just leave all at once. A few were looking in on Draco and Severus. Draco was too concentrated on his thoughts to notice. He tried to look on the bright side.  
  
"Well I can always get a job at the Ministry or something, can't I? That way I can still fight on this side," Draco stopped. Severus was shaking his head sadly.  
  
"If the second time the result is still no, Albus will clear your memories," The hall had gone silent in anticipation of his reaction. Draco felt much like he head when Hermione had threatened to take Harry away from him. That odd crying sensation again.  
  
"H-how much of my memories?"  
  
"All of seventh year," Severus was talking in a monotone. Draco could see it was affecting his godfather as well, "It shouldn't do anything to affect what you learned this year,"  
  
"All of it! I don't want to go back to the old me Sev! I've only just figured out how to be happy! Who I am! And if they say no again, I'll be lost! I want this life Sev, I don't want to be a bloody Death Eater!"  
  
Severus didn't say anything. Draco closed his eyes. He calmed himself with a few deep breaths. The crying thing went away. He opened his eyes again.  
  
"What will happen to Harry?" "We'll convince him that you were using him," Draco could see in Severus' eyes that he didn't like that part of the plan.  
  
"So, really, it's like a death sentence," Draco continued at Severus' confused look, "Well I wouldn't be able to go near Harry again. He'd kill me on sight for 'betraying' him. As would almost everyone in the Light side of the wizarding world for breaking his heart. And I'd be killed on spot the moment I tired to go back to Voldemort, since I'd be convinced that I still wanted to be a Death Eater. You know as well as I do that once you betray Voldemort there is no second chance.... I'd probably be better off dead than have my memory altered,"  
  
Severus sighed and stood, and Draco stood also. He was pulled into a one- armed hug by his godfather. It was the first time he had done that. Draco saw the other people watching them. Remus in the doorway.  
  
"We'll figure something out, ok Draco?" Draco nodded. He didn't look at anyone. He was painfully aware of the salty tears that were running down his cheeks.  
  
"Come on, let's get you upstairs," Severus led him past Remus and the other Order members to the stairs. He glared daggers at those who didn't vote for Draco. Draco felt a rush of gratitude for his godfather. Draco stopped on the second floor. Harry and Terry were sharing a room on this floor.  
  
"I told Harry that I'd come in when I got the answer," Draco mumbled. Severus agreed to it and led him to the door of Harry's room. Before he left, Severus looked at him.  
  
"I want you to know that I'll help you Draco. I'll convince them to let you in... You're like the song I never had," Draco smiled.  
  
"Well Severus, you're like the father I never had. Just don't turn into my real father while trying to convince them, ok?" Severus gave him a small smile.  
  
"I won't go that far for anyone, not even you," They said goodnight and Severus started down the stairs. After a moment, Draco followed. He called Severus back, then hugged him.  
  
"I love you Sev," He mumbled into Severus' hair.  
  
"I love you too Draco... now go see Harry, all right? I'll see you tomorrow," Severus untangled himself from Draco and continued down the stairs to his waiting werewolf.  
  
Draco snuck into Harry's room. He turned off the light that had been left on, and kicked off his shoes. He curled into bed with Harry. He lightly shook him until he woke.  
  
"Draco... What time is it?" Draco smiled sadly.  
  
"You don't want to know, love,"  
  
"So, did you get in?"  
  
Draco shook his head. He could feel those damned tears building up again. He explained everything to Harry. He just barely managed to keep Harry from complaining to Dumbledore at that very moment. The tears were running down Draco's cheeks again. He supposed he had years of crying to make up for.  
  
"They were going to tell me that you used me?"  
  
"Yeah," Draco sniffed, "I wouldn't do that you know,"  
  
It all seemed so pointless. If they said no, he would run away. To America, Australia, Japan, it didn't matter. He'd wait until the war was over. Until he could be with Harry again. They wouldn't get his good memories.  
  
He let Harry whisper to him gently until he fell asleep.  
  
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Draco didn't eat anything in those two days between votes. Anytime he got to be alone with Harry someone from the Order would come in. He had someone watching him all the time. He didn't know how they could stand watching him. All he did was read and sleep.  
  
It wasn't long until they were all in chairs against the wall. The Order members seated around a large table. They waited for McGonagall to recount the votes. Tonks, Dumbledore, Kingsley, and Remus had done it already. Draco and the others had been brought in half way through McGonagall's count.  
  
She finished counting. Neatly stacked the papers up. She nodded at Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked to Draco. "The vote was unanimous... you're in!"  
  
Draco was speechless for a few moments until he managed a weak, but gracious "Thank you,"  
  
"Training starts tomorrow," Kingsley told them.  
  
"Be here at five a.m. If you're late you get no other chance," McGonagall added. Severus couldn't help but add his own bit also.  
  
"This is the real world boys and girls," Severus smirked at them.  
  
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Harry snuck into the room Draco was sharing with Neville. Neville was in Susan's room. Draco had just finished his shower. He had on only a pair of boxers. Harry curled behind him in Draco's single bed.  
  
Draco felt the burning flesh of Harry's chest against his back. Chapped lips against the back of his neck. He rolled over and captured those lips with his own. Harry pulled back and sucked on a sensitive spot on his neck. Draco squirmed, but couldn't completely focus on Harry. Harry must've gotten it, because he stopped and looked into Draco's eyes.  
  
"What's wrong, love?"  
  
"Nothing," Draco didn't want to bring Harry down with his thoughts.  
  
"You can't lie to me," Harry said gently. When had Draco dropped his defenses for Harry? Oh, it was that Quidditch game. The one where Draco hinted to Harry that he hadn't wanted the snitch. At least he could remember that day...  
  
Draco gently stroked Harry's cheek. "If they had said no again, I wouldn't be here right now. I would probably be clueless as to how much I love you,"  
  
Harry was quiet. He had an odd look in his eyes. Those brilliant green eyes that betrayed his every emotion.  
  
"Don't dwell on the memories you might've been missing... focus on making new ones," Draco grinned at him.  
  
"What's the matter Potter? Afraid to die a virgin?" Draco's voice was mocking, but he understood perfectly. They may never get this chance again.  
  
Harry kissed him lovingly. Love turned into passion. Their passion led to them slowly, awkwardly making love. Exploring the contours of their lover's body. Screaming each others name at the climax. Panting and sweating, they rested. Butterfly kisses turned to ones of gentle love. The loving kisses to passion. They made love over and over again until Harry passed out.  
  
Half asleep, Draco ran his fingers over Harry's sweaty body. His previous hours of physical training hadn't been lost on him. God, could Harry bend! Draco fell asleep with a smile. There were only a few hours until he'd have to wake again. Then he would face his future head-on. Even if he wouldn't be able to walk very well.  
  
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A/n– Ahh, horrible last sentence, don't you think? Anyways, the last part is complete! I finished writing it last night, and typing it just as I was posting this ^_^! It is named Chronophobia, which is the fear of time, and clocks. I'm really only using it for fear of time though... Someone afraid of clocks might be a bit strange...  
  
Please Review!  
  
:~*~:silver-sunn101:~*~: 


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